Broken

It has been a while since I have posted anything on here, I honestly have been dealing with lots lately. I have done a lot in my life to be responsible or to fit in the community I find myself in. I am a bottler I hold it all inside and keep it to myself so that I don't create a lot of burden for those around me. A few people throughout my life have opened me up to varying degrees but for the most part I choose to let my thoughts go unsaid. This terrible habit has caused me to hurt people around me when I take it all out on them over issues that aren't the real problem. I am currently being put face to face with the places most broken in my heart where I have been wounded the deepest. I know I am my own worst enemy and left to my own the lies I have accepted as truths slowly become more and more of a foundation in my identity; because I feed into them. I have been sorting through my life and rethinking all that I believe and why. It is easy and comfortable for me to slip into the dark alone it is where I feel I belong and Satan would have me stay there. Thank God Almighty, The Redeemer, The Protector; for he has put those people in my life to look at me sitting in the dark and call me back to the light. The people who can speak life to me and even if they can't take away the turmoil I know I couldn't stand through it without them.

I write all this not just to talk about myself but to relate with those other bottlers. I know the need to keep the feelings to yourself to not burden or to not trust those around you. From the beginning God looked at Adam and said it is not good for man to be alone. As humans we were made for community to work together and carry each others burdens. I know sometimes you feel it is yours to carry, I am sorry but it really isn't; I am not saying you have to say everything to everyone but you need people to help you through life. Don't try to work through all those problems you hold in by yourself you will be overwhelmed and hurt you as well as those around you. God bless! This one goes out to all the bottlers, including myself and my dear friend Sassy.